6 Reasons Joe Rogan Will Be Vegan

by / Tuesday, 13 September 2016 / Published in Activism, Lifestyle, vegan

We’re just gonna come right out and say it. If you don’t like Joe Rogan, you’re a piece of shit.

 

“But Phil and Matt, he’s not vegan…”

 

  1. Everyone will eventually be vegan. But you have to stop being an asshole first. Be friends with people who aren’t vegan.
  2. YET, motherfucker. He’s not vegan… YET!

 

And Joe Rogan may even think we’re insane for thinking this. But he will be vegan.

 

Everyone will be vegan.

 

“But Vegan Bros, he’s a million miles away from becoming vegan. He hunts and makes fun of vegans.”

 

First off, let’s be honest, some of the stuff he makes fun of vegans for are understandable.

 

But second. No, motherfucker. So many of our family members and friends were a million miles away from ever becoming vegan.

 

And you know what? They’re vegan now.

 

And so were we for that matter.

 

Matt literally used to scream bacon when he heard the word vegan.

 

Matt, you were a fucking asshole piece of shit.

 

And in 9th grade when Phil’s friend told him she didn’t eat at McDonald’s because of a slaughterhouse video she watched. He looked up at her and said, “but they’re just animals.”

 

Then he ordered a big mac.

 

Phil, you truly were terrible.

 

The only people we can’t give a guarantee about are people who will be dead soon.

 

Fuck, even the CEO of Tyson will eventually be vegan. It’s weird to think about sometimes. But it’s reality.

 

Joe Rogan actually has a lot more in common with vegans than a lot of people realize. And in our opinion, he is probably at least like 75% vegan.

 

Here are 6 reasons why Joe Rogan (and everyone else in the world) will eventually be vegan.

 

1. He thinks abusing animals is fucked up.

Truth!

Watch the full podcast here: https://youtu.be/N3Af-R0VPFQ

Posted by Vegan Bros on Friday, January 22, 2016

 

Nearly all meat, dairy, and eggs sold in this country come from animals on factory farms.

 

And on factory farms, animals are confined in tiny as fuck cages where they can barely move.

 

They are also mutilated without painkillers. For example, piglets have their testicles ripped out of their bodies without painkillers. LOL

 

Isn’t that some crazy shit? It’s real.

 

And at the slaughterhouses the animals are often times scalded alive or have their throats cut while fully conscious.

 

The average person is horrified by that. And Joe Rogan agrees.

 

2. Over time vegan food is going to become more and more prevalent, while meat is going to become less and less prevalent.

 

It’s just the way the world is going. More and more people are at least eating vegan food on the reg. More and more people have completely given up meat. More and more people are going vegan.

 

So restaurants and grocery stores are responding.

 

More and more vegan businesses are popping up. And they are being funded by the rich motherfuckers who run the world, like Bill Gates.

 

Pretty soon, even if you want to eat meat it’s going to be too hard.

 

Capitalism will be 100% vegan soon.

 

3. Clean meat is becoming a thing.

 

Clean meat is the meat that is identical to gross as fuck meat. Like, it’s literally meat.

 

Except clean meat isn’t gross as fuck. That’s the only difference.

 

It doesn’t come from an animal. It resembles meat 100% in texture and taste, except no animal has to suffer for it. And they even take the bad shit like cholesterol out of it.

 

This is also being funded by the rich motherfuckers who run the world.

 

4. Many hunters end up going vegan.

 

Yes, Joe Rogan hunts right now. That’s all the more reasons to understand that he will be vegan faster than a lot of other people.

 

For example, our uncle has hunted his entire life. He doesn’t anymore. Now he’s vegan.

 

5. The antibiotics and hormone shit they inject into those animals is bad fucking news for animals and for us.

 

It’s weird.

 

6. Joe Rogan gives a shit.

 

He’s a compassionate motherfucker. And he thinks deeply about the world and how it works. He’s constantly having honest conversations with experts who hold opinions different from his.

 

Let’s be honest, even people who don’t think about shit will eventually be vegan.

 

So if a person does actually take the time to think about the world and how they can help make it better. They’re obviously going to become vegan. It’s the most inevitable thing ever.

 

And vegans, remember.

 

If someone doesn’t go vegan right away. Or even if they don’t go vegan for the next 10 years.

 

Resist the urge to get frustrated. Be patient. It will happen.

 

And if you want to speed the process of vegan world domination up follow our advice in this video.

 


Click here to download our ebook!

  • MikeValentine1234

    Right on!!! I think we agree with JR on more things than we disagree. Thanks for this post!

  • mutton_man

    “Everyone will be vegan”? I wouldn’t bet actual money on that…

  • Jowe

    When the earth runs out of food, vegans will become the next food source.

  • Liane Blanco

    You said “They are also mutilated without painkillers. For example, piglets have their testicles ripped out of their bodies without painkillers. LOL”

    LOL? Really? Maybe you want to edit that?

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