Here’s Why You Can’t Get Your Friends To Go Vegan…

by / Thursday, 30 March 2017 / Published in Activism, Lifestyle, vegan

 

Interaction A

 

“Hey, Mike! Dude the stuff you’ve been talking about with how animals are treated on farms. That shit is really getting to me. I actually ate at Chipotle yesterday and tried my first meal without meat!”

 

“Cool man. BUT, did you get sour cream and cheese?”

 

“Uuuum. Well… Yeah, I did”

 

“Oh my God dude, that’s terrible! Do you have any idea what dairy cows and their babies go through? That’s fucked up bro. Fucking fake ass vegetarian. I gotta go. Don’t talk to me anymore.”

 

Interaction B

 

“Hey, Mike! Dude the stuff you’ve been talking about with how animals are treated on farms. That shit is really getting to me. I actually ate at Chipotle yesterday and tried my first meal without meat!”

 

“BROOOO! Are you serious right now? Holy fucking shit dude, you just made my entire week. You have no idea how excited I am about that. You’re awesome dude!”

 

We all have choices at every turn.

 

What we eat, where we live, what we drive, what we do for a living, etc.

 

But, the 2 most important things we choose daily are

 

  1. What we say

 

  1. How we say it

 

In the example above we have a dude who’s made his first ever step toward eating less animals, and eating more plants. Making a difference.

 

Also in the example above we have two alternate responses from well meaning vegan friends.

 

The first friend took no more than a split second to throw Mike under the bus and cut him to the quick.

 

He focused on what he viewes as Mike’s shortcomings and inability to change everything in an instant. He failed to remember that just 2 years ago he was still eating animals.

 

He failed. Big time.

 

Friend two was so amped up and excited about Mike’s massive move he had trouble letting Mike finish before he interrupted him with praise and loads of positive reinforcement.

 

Shame Or Praise?

 

Shame works for a few things.

 

  1. Making the other person feel like a complete and utter piece of shit.

 

  1. Putting that person on the defense, which puts them in a mental space that makes them unlikely to ever listen to anything you have to say again, and also to characterize everyone like you (vegans) as angry nut jobs.

 

  1. Makes you feel great in that moment, especially for those ‘activists’ who associate ‘activism’ as being odd, angry, loud, and destructive.

 

Praise works for everything.

 

We should have no time to shame people or mention any negatives, because we’re too busy propping the other up for all of the good they are doing.

 

When we praise their good decisions, they feel good, and they want to make more of those good decisions.

 

Shame is dead, praise is the future.

 

Don’t be an asshole. Be awesome instead.

 

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